I wasn’t always this cynical, I grew up believing in a world of white picket fences. To me, heaven is a Chagnon family party. Five big families jammed into a house (which is undoubtedly still in the middle of some phase of construction) filled with lots of laughter, spirits and maybe a game of "murder in the dark" happening upstairs.
There was very little about this past week that felt like this vision.
It felt like a women you love getting torn apart by a horrible disease.
Watching your father lose his big sister.
Watching two sons and a daughter wonder why basic decisions are suddenly so difficult to make.
Watching a husband so lost that he seemed to be walking in circles.
These days white picket fences are about as real to me as winning lottery tickets. You can't win if you don't play...but nobody ever seems to wins.
Silver linings are more my speed. They are the acknowledgement that while nothing is ever right, if you look around there's still beauty in even the darkest situations.
There was a moment last Monday as we all sat around waiting for that horrible moment to arrive, that I was told a story so funny, so absolutely hysterical that I will laugh about it for years to come.
And that laughter is the true heaven on this earth, for me. It's my silver lining. That is the heaven that our 5 families built together over the last 60+ years.
I've received many gifts from Nora over the years. But that connection we have as a family, that Nora and everyone else worked hard to make real, that is the silver lining that keeps me going. The gift from her that I will cherish forever.
Nora Chagnon- Tenk
June 17, 1943 - February 17, 2010
RIP
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